


The Winter of Souls

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Conflicted Kylo Ren, Creepy Snoke (Star Wars), Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Evil Snoke (Star Wars), Fix-It of Sorts, Injury Recovery, Kylo Ren Has Issues, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Training
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:28:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27179242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Snoke takes a different route after Starkiller Base’s destruction. That changes everything.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren
Kudos: 2
Collections: Bad Day Collection





	1. Recovery

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Call this just the beginning of canon divergence with TLJ...
> 
> Title from a Wizards and Souls song I was listening to for inspiration. (Thank you, TV Tropes, for pointing me there)

It should have been the end of his agony. The conflict that seemed to fracture him down the middle. Instead, Kylo Ren found, he felt more lost and alone than ever. 

He couldn’t blame the girl for defeating him. After all, it was a case of his own weakness, his own lack of conviction. A true Knight of Ren wouldn’t be split down the middle by killing his own father. His spirit split to the bone. Nor, for that matter, would it have been sent into conflict at the idea of torturing the man he loved. 

He wasn’t a Knight of Ren. He wasn’t really much of anything, really. 

”I’m sorry, Han Solo,” he whispered, to the empty, cold air that seemed to sting his cheek, the open gash where the girl had slashed him. “Poe. I can’t do this on my own. I need help.”

Assuming that he could get to his feet. He had to. Gritting his teeth against the pain in his side, Kylo Ren forced himself to his feet. 

He was still bleeding. Threatening to collapse. A real Knight of Ren would have taken more punishment than this, he thought as he punched his side once again, a grotesque attempt to stop the bleeding. Walking towards the nearest shuttle he could see — and Hux. 

Kylo suppressed a groan. Well, that was one punishment he could get for his failure. For his stupidity. Having to put up with Hux. 

”The hell happened to you?” Hux said, looking at least somewhat disturbed at the sight of Kylo Ren punching his side. Weak thing. 

"Kriff off,” Kylo managed to growl, at least before the ground swam up to meet him, and all went black. 

***

He woke up, in that moment, on a shuttle — Hux’s shuttle. A medical droid — Kylo realized, much to his chagrin, that he was shirtless, and a medical droid was operating on his wounds. If he was going to be shirtless in front of anyone, he preferred that he not be shirtless in front of the anthropomorphic-version-of-itching-powder-in-an-envirosuit that was General Hux. Luckily, Hux seemed to be sulking over Starkiller Base’s loss. 

And nothing of value was lost, Kylo thought wryly. That was at least one good thing that had happened today; Poe had blown up Starkiller Base. 

He just wished that he hadn’t hurt Poe. He had tortured before, and he’d hated all the interrogations, but interrogating Poe was the worst interrogation he’d ever done. 

Snoke had known what he was doing, making him do it. 

The scar on his face had faded to a thin line, compliments of the medical droid that had operated on him. It was a reminder, Kylo supposed, of his failure. Of the fact his father had forgiven him...why? He didn’t deserve it; he deserved it less than so many people. 

He could only assume that Han Solo was blinded by love for his own son. Even to the end. Loving Ben Solo to the point of overvalidation was his weakness, even now.

(The realization that Poe had been looking for him because he loved him...)

***

Snoke, of course, was furious. He had chewed out Hux and Kylo both, throwing barbed insults at their weaknesses — and though Hux stayed stoic, Kylo didn’t miss the way his eye twitched, the way a hand clenched into a fist of repressed rage. 

He supposed he could agree with Hux there. After all, Snoke’s comments were definitely touching a nerve. There were parts where Snoke’s less stable side could show through, and this was one of them. 

Snoke calmed down. Eventually. Then, “Our strategy must, once again, change. Attacking D’Qar when our Base is gone and my apprentice incompetent — ”

Kylo had to suppress the urge to charge at Snoke. 

“ — is a foolish idea,” Snoke said. “We must retreat. For a while. My apprentice requires further training. You must forgive him, General.”

If Snoke was in the flesh in front of him, Kylo would have charged. 

”So we delay the attack on D’Qar, for the time being?” Hux said.

”For the time being,” Snoke said. “Kylo Ren...meet me on Moraband. We will _redouble_ our efforts.”

Kylo already had a feeling the only reason Snoke didn’t get rid of him immediately was pragmatism. The war wasn’t over yet. 

***

The other officers stared at Kylo in confusion at the sight of him without his mask, but they readied his TIE Silencer when he ordered them to. He had left his helmet back on Starkiller Base when it had exploded; he would simply build a new one. 

A new one. A child in a new mask, playing dress-up. But maybe he’d get there. He had to. He had to...


	2. All My Tomorrows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo begins the completion of his training.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.
> 
> Author’s Notes: Title from “Just One Yesterday” by Fall Out Boy ft. Foxes. I’m surprised no one but me’s associated it with Darkpilot, really.

In his TIE Silencer, Kylo Ren jolted awake even as he saw the planet of Moraband draw all the closer. The dusty surface. This was where he was supposed to go. To get stronger. To stop the pain. 

Why wouldn’t the pain _stop_?

He landed his TIE Silencer on Moraband just then, letting the Silencer dock on the dusty surface. Even as he got out of his TIE Silencer, Kylo looked around, looked out at the old relics of the tombs. Old history. It seemed appropriate that he was coming back to raided tombs and corpses. A grand metaphor for his mind at the moment. 

He trudged up the path to the Academy. Snoke was waiting. Snoke didn’t like to be kept waiting. 

***

”You’re late,” Snoke said, bluntly. 

”I don’t control the laws of hyperspace,” Kylo retorted. 

Snoke tilted his head. “I thought that the student was supposed to respect the Master.”

”You forced me to...interrogate Poe Dameron.” Somehow, Kylo couldn’t bring himself to say “torture".

”It was more than just finding the map to Skywalker,” Snoke said. “It was part of your training. Part of what was needed to make you complete.”

”How was it...” Kylo swallowed as he spoke. “It wasn’t fair. He was trying to help me...”

”I’m afraid that does not bolster his case,” Snoke said. “Everyone’s trying to steal you away from me, aren’t they?” Kylo could feel the threat of rage, of exploding violence like a thermal detonator going off, in Snoke’s voice. "Aren’t they?”

Silence. 

”But that won’t happen,” Snoke said. “You belong to me and me alone. I am the only one who understands you, Kylo Ren.”

”You are...” It was a painful truth, but still a truth nonetheless. “You are the only one who understands.” After all, would his mother still love him, understand him, after all he had done? Kylo had no idea. 

”Excellent.” Snoke grinned, almost maalras-like. “Now you’re learning.”

***

Snoke wasn’t gentle with him. Kylo knew he didn’t deserve it. Even dueling against Ushar (with an Echani vibroblade, because Kylo had a feeling that Snoke wouldn’t like it if he had an advantage over Ushar), Kylo could feel himself getting tired — but he forced himself onwards. He couldn’t afford to give up. 

It was in a fit of inspiration that he froze Ushar with the Force. Disheveled, his lip bleeding, Kylo turned to Snoke. 

”Effective,” Snoke said, “Now...why didn’t you use it on the girl?”

”I...didn’t want to kill her. She felt familiar somehow.”

Snoke scoffed. “Not this nonsense again.”

Silence. 

”She is an enemy of the First Order, and enemies of the First Order do not deserve mercy,” Snoke said. “Your mercy cost you dearly. Same with Dameron.” A beat. “You are very, very fortunate that I have not punished you for allowing him to escape.”

”I can explain — ”

“I suppose,” Snoke said, “Part of this was my fault. I was too lenient with you. I didn’t cut the softness out of you like the cancer it was.”

Kylo couldn’t deny that. 

”But you’ll learn. You’ll be who I meant you to be. The balance. The true Chosen One, and not your grandfather.”

***

Kylo knew he should try to get to sleep in this empty Academy. Knew he should try. He couldn’t. It wasn’t the fact the Academy felt like it was full of ghosts, although there was that too. 

It was Poe. In his mind, he could see his tear-stained, agonized face...and even though it wasn’t Dark Side of him, Kylo knew he'd do anything to take it back. 

Was he able to even talk to Poe? To tell him how deeply he had blown it? How he didn’t want to hurt him?

He’d sacrifice his reputation if necessary to make things right with Poe. 


End file.
